Be a good girl. Said every parent to their daughter.
Be a happy kid. I did. At least that’s what I thought.
Until I realized something now.
Put too much effort to be happy can kill you. I grew as a girl that fear if I do something wrong. Too much fear, so I can’t live. Too much sad which was buried deep inside so it’s just like the ticking time bomb.
I had diary. I used to angry on it. I can write any expression which is mostly anger.
I used to cry silently, inside the room with the door locked, and under the pillow. Afterward, I drew something.
If I sad, the sketch that i’ve made looked desperate, even if I try to make a smile on it. That’s kinda an explanation to me why psychologists can judge someone by their hand drawing.
I ashamed if someone found me crying.
I don’t want to cry loudly like in the soap opera.
I don’t want them to know that I’m unhappy.
After I’ve watched this animation movie, I felt like.. yes. I have a friend. The script writer or the author or anyone whose has the idea of this film is very understand me.
It’s okay to be sad.
You supposed to be cry when you’re sad. If you hide it, it’ll be much more hurt you. Maybe you won’t forget the pain.
Sometimes best memory is the combination of Joy, and Sad. All these feelings exist in our mind not without a reason.
So, if i show you my tears, there are two possiblities:
I trust you,or..
You are an unbeatable a**hole.